King William II (Reign: 1087-1100)
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The British royals have always loved a good hunt, and King William II was no exception. On August 2, 1100, King William II set off with a hunting party that included his younger brother, Henry, and a nobleman named Walter Tirel. During the hunt, the King and Tirel went off on their own to chase a stag. It was then that Tirel allegedly “missed” the stag and shot an arrow straight through the King of England’s back, which killed him. Tirel who had a reputation for being an excellent shot, fled to France. Even more suspiciously, the King’s body wasn’t found until the next morning — and not by those in his hunting party, but by local farmers. Three days later, Henry took the English throne. Hmmm…
Henry I (Reign: 1100-1135)
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Speaking of King William’s bro King Henry I, he gets the award for — drumroll please — begetting the most royal bastards. The prolific propagator sired approximately 24 illegitimate children, give or take, with a long list of mistresses. While Henry married twice, he only had two “legit” kids with wife No. 1, Matilda and William. When William died at sea, he named Matilda his only chosen heir. The decision to name a female heir, unusual for the day, led to decades of war upon Henry’s death and resulted in his nephew, Stephen, seizing the coveted throne.
King Henry VIII (Reign: 1509-1547)
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Where to begin… well, he did have six wives. Wife No. 1, Catherine of Aragon, was first wed to his older brother, Arthur, so there’s that. After many years resulting in no legitimate male heirs, Henry wanted a Catholic annulment so he could marry side-piece, Anne Boleyn (lest we forget he’d also had a fling with Anne’s sister!). Denied by the Pope, he launched the Church of England and made himself head of it. Of course, Anne lost her head when she also didn’t produce a son. He accused No. 5, Anne Howard, of being unfaithful and had her beheaded too!
Queen Elizabeth I (Reign: 1558-1603)
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Henry’s daughter with Anne Boleyn, Queen Elizabeth I, kept her head about her, refusing to marry during her long reign. The so-called “Virgin Queen” was rumored to have enjoyed a long-term secret affair with handsome Robert Dudley, the 1st Earl of Leicester. Imagine the shock when her lover’s wife, Amy Robsart, mysteriously turned up at the bottom of the staircase — dead of a broken neck! So was Lizzie responsible for offing the competition in 1560? Was the Virgin Queen a Killer Queen? No one knows for sure. We do know that when he dared to remarry years later, the new wife was banished from the court!
King Charles II (Reign: 1660 to 1685)
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Love, sex, and… poison? This summarizes the life of one of Britain’s most original playboy rulers, King Charles II. There was no shortage of mistresses for King Charles, who even admitted to having 12 illegitimate children with many of them. The King certainly seemed to have his favorite lady friends, but the closer they got to him, the darker things tended to turn. The most famous of his mistresses, Barbara Palmer, gained increasing favor when it came to matters of the court. But when things soured between them, accusations against Barbara for trying to poison King Charles ran rampant. Another mistress thought that this drastic measure wasn’t such a bad idea! Louise de Kéroualle, one of King Charles’ French lovers, was also accused of trying to assassinate the King through… you guessed it… poison. Ugh, those poor food tasters.
Queen Anne (Reign: 1702-1714)
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Talk about an affair to remember! 18th Century England gossip mongers went absolutely bonkers over a scandalous, supposed same-sex romance between Queen Anne and her BFF confidante, Sarah Churchill. Churchill was the Duchess of Marlborough — who also just happened to get this jaw-dropping official title: “Lady of the Bedchamber.” Annie also came up with calling themselves cute nicknames (Anne was “Mrs. Morley,” Sarah was “Mrs. Freeman), supposedly used to make the lovers feel more behind closed doors. However, Sarah’s husband’s (yes, she was married!) role as a military leader in the War of Spanish succession flared political differences that turned personal between the Queen and Sarah.
King George 1 (Reign: 1714-1727)
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King George of England married chipper Princess Sophia Dorothea of Celle (try saying that 5x fast!) when he was still just “dour and cold” Prince George of Hanover. Needless to say, that ill-fated union proved to be a total disaster. While Georgie was dominated by his mistress, Sophia started enjoying her own adulterous affair by exchanging hundreds of reckless love letters with her lover, the dashing Philip Christoph von Königsmarck — who got himself murdered over the affair! Sophia’s children were taken away and raised at court, where her name was never to be mentioned. King George even had her imprisoned in a tiny, lakeside castle.
King George III (Reign: 1760-1820)
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Remember King George III, comedically made to look like an arrogant buffoon in Broadway‘s mega-smash, Hamilton? Well, here’s tea about the blueblood who lost the United States in 1776: He couldn’t convince even one of his nine sons to marry a “respectable” bride and produce an heir! He finally blew his lid and kicked off the “succession crisis of 1817,“ ordering his stubborn boys to dump their paramours, marry European princesses, and race to father a legit heir. King George’s third son Edward crossed the finish line first and in 1819 fathered the future Queen Victoria. The rest, as they say, is history.
Queen Victoria (Reign: 1837-1901)
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Did you know Queen Victoria threw one of her childhood besties, Lady Flora Hastings, under the gossip bus and turned the poor woman’s life upside down in 1839? Hastings was not only a friend, but lady-in-waiting to the Duchess of Kent, Victoria’s mother. Alas, when the Lady’s abdomen began to swell, incredibly judgy Queen V assumed she was pregnant and allegedly started a catty campaign to ruin the gal’s reputation. When the Queen demanded Flora be examined, the doctor not only determined the woman was still indeed a virgin, but he also discovered she was sick with a deadly abdominal tumor.
King Edward VIII (Reign: January 1936-December 1936)
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This dapper monarch had the gall to fall head of heels for, wait for it, an American divorcee? Imagine that, the blue-blooded King of England going gaga for a non-virgin, twice-divorced, red-hot socialite! When Edward VIII met glamorous Wallis Simpson, he fell so hard, that he proved everlasting love by abdicating the British throne for her. The couple wed in June 1937, leaving dreary ol’ England behind and settling for sunnier posh pads in France and the United States. They remained married until he died in 1972. Even more scandalous, the pair have long been rumored to have been Nazi sympathizers, further alienating Edward from his family back in England.
